Groom saying vows

8 Powerful Tips How To Write Your Wedding Vows

A wedding is one of the most important days in a couple’s lives. It is a special day for the lovebirds to celebrate their love and share it with family and friends. One of the most intimate moments at your wedding is the wedding vows. They are the highlight of this special occasion, and for this reason, you have to take time to write the perfect words. 

While it is not might not be as complicated as writing your masters dissertation, writing this short piece can feel overwhelming. There’s so much you want to say to your fiancée, and yet you want to say it in the fewest words possible. 

Bride Speaking
Image by Claudia Sonnemans from Pixabay

This guide explores some powerful tips to help you come up with the best wedding vows to mark this big moment.

1. Create A Plan With Your Fiancée 

While you want the wedding vows to be a surprise on the big day, you should first discuss them with your fiancée. The last thing you want is for the two of you to write vows in different tones. 

You should be on the same page regarding the length, tone, and everything else to avoid unwanted surprises on the big day. Once you agree on the format, you can now start individual plans.

2. Write Down Notes On Your Relationship 

What makes your relationship tick? How did it all start? What are those unique qualities you admire in your fiancée? How does your fiancée complete you? How did it all start? What are the challenges you’ve overcome together? 

All these things will help you come up with the best wedding vows. You want to personalize them and make them relevant and true to your relationship. You should take time to reflect on what you’ve been through when dating, and the information you will collect will come handy for your vows.  

3. Read For Inspiration 

Read what other people from different cultures and backgrounds have written about wedding vows. Look at both religious and non-religious views on wedding vows and read samples made by couples from across the world. 

While you want your vows to be unique, you can get inspiration from other couples. You can borrow the style or tone used by others to start crafting your vows. 

4. Start Small 

Many couples struggle to write vows because they want to do it all in one sitting. This is a process that should take months, and you should not rush it. In fact, from the moment you propose, you should start gathering material for your wedding vows. 

Start small and write every idea that comes to your mind. Have a notebook with you every time and jot down the thoughts about your fiancée and your relationship. It becomes easier to compile your vows when you have material to work with. 

5. Make A Promise(s)

Marriage is tough in modern times, and every couple knows this. A study published recently shows that divorce rates over the last forty years have more than doubled. As you start on this new journey, you should assure your fiancée that you’ll always be there for her. 

Promises are an integral part of your wedding vows. You can give broad promises and specific ones touching on your partner. For instance, “I’ll always be there for you,” or “I’ll always take you to every new Star Wars movie.”

6. Keep Things Light and Positive 

The wedding day is supposed to be a happy moment, but in many cases, there’s a lot of anxiety and tension in the air. The couple has a lot of expectations for this big day. You should use your wedding vows to lighten the mood and help your fiancée relax. 

Don’t go too deep with your vows and avoid sharing intimate details. The vows should be a toast and a moment to appreciate your fiancée. Avoid bringing up sad memories or fights that might dull the moment or put more pressure on your fiancée during this special day. 

7. Keep It Short And Sweet 

There’s so much to tell about your spouse, and you have a rush of emotions you would want to share. However, this is not the right moment to do all that. Keep the wedding vows short, preferably a few paragraphs of a few sentences each (175 to 250 words). 

Don’t bore the guests with a long-winding speech because, after all, these vows are for your fiancée. Due to the nervousness, it is best to keep your vows short and sweet. 

8. Write Several Drafts and Practice

After collecting your notes and deciding on the tone you want to use, try writing the first draft. The idea is to see how it will turn out, but you should feel free to let your thoughts flow. Make sure you include everything you wish in the draft. After this first draft, refine it a few more times to get the perfect wedding vows.  

You should also practice saying them aloud. This is the most important part after you’ve written your wedding vows. Practice the vows aloud and learn them by heart. Work on your tone, and if there’s something that doesn’t sound right in the vows, change it early. Listen to yourself when practicing, and you’ll gain the confidence you need to stand in front of the church.

Wedding Finals
Image by JINHONG KIM from Pixabay

Final Thoughts   

Wedding vows are an important part of your big day. You have to get them right because they’re a highlight of the biggest day of your life. Start preparing your vows early and work with a similar plan. Incorporate unique ideas to personalize the vows and use the moment to appreciate your spouse, make promises, and celebrate your love. 

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